It's Been A While

So.. it's been a while. Things haven't exactly been peachy.. J went off his medicine and didn't tell me that he was out until it was much too late. Every time he does something like this, it puts another wedge between us. Last night, we had a talk about things. He wonders why I have distanced myself from him. He doesn't see it the way I do. After he stopped going to the doctor (or well.. nurse practitioner who was a complete bitch), he went into a coma and would only focus on his computer. I had to IM him from the same room to talk to him. Even then, he would barely talk to me. At cons, he woke up but I was again, not on his list of priorities. He didn't even notice I wasn't at a con for an entire day. He will ignore the need to eat, pee or shower just to focus on the internet. When I get him to hold the baby, he will snap out of his focus and all of the sudden have to run to do all of the things he ignored while staring at the computer screen.

He probably doesn't understand why I told him that I don't feel like I'm in a relationship with him. I have become bitter, bitchy and neglect myself. It's depressing to live with someone like this. I made him go into the other bedroom. I want my room to myself for a while. I can't just pretend that things are great and that we are in a marriage because it doesn't feel like that to me. Don't get me wrong, I love him. He just needs to stop acting like I am the faulty one here. He needs to stop putting me down and being negative. It brings me down too and that is not healthy. I feel like I can't live without him but if we live together like this much longer, it is going to end and end badly.. =(