Spontaneity and Touching/Cuddling

I was thinking about last night. I know that a lot of autistic people don't like to be touched or hugged. J LOVES when his back is scratched. However, cuddling is a different story. I was laying down with the baby and thinking how nice it would be for J to just come up and spoon me. He came up to bed and got in his usual spot. He might like being touched (or at least scratched), but he has no patience for cuddling. He can't do it unless it is on his own terms. This may leave the NT spouse feeling a bit lonely and deprived of spontaneous intimacy. It is hard to feel like this, but I know it is not because J doesn't love me or anything. He is loving in his own way... even if it is by blaming me for something that was totally his fault! LOL It adds a bit of humor to our relationship. Aspies exhibit highly different traits and it can boggle the best of minds. I prefer my Aspies to be different because there is no one exactly like they are. While we might miss out on certain aspects in "normal" friendships or relationships, I think what the Aspie brings to the table is a new perspective on life and a new way of being. It's very interesting. While I may want to be cuddled out of the blue and not have to say, "Cuddle with me," I wouldn't trade J for anyone else in the world, as I wouldn't trade my Aspie friends for anyone else. They are all amazing. =]