Being Pulled Apart

I am between a rock and a hard place. I feel like I am being pulled two opposite ways. On one hand, I know how important it is for J to be near his boys. On the other hand, I need to be able to support my son Jareth and myself (and J). Since there are NO jobs in Rhode Island (believe me, I probably applied for all that was up there), I feel like I need to move to where the jobs are. I feel so terrible because this means going the opposite way to the way we should be moving. I am really trying to do the best for my family overall, that includes my step-sons. However, I just don't see moving to Rhode Island as a possibility at this point in time. It is a very depressing thought and I am tearing myself up over it. It almost feels like I am putting Jareth first, over everyone. In a way, I am. But, I know that my step-sons are well cared for and have their needs met, at least financially, where they are. They need their father though and unless J and I have a temporary long-distance relationship, I don't see how we are going to make this work. What's worse is that J can't just go out and work with his Asperger Syndrome. His social anxiety makes it very difficult.. not that there would be a job for him anyway. The problem is that he was denied disability even though he is disabled. It's freaking crap! =(