You Call Yourself a Mother?!

I don't know how some people can call themselves mothers. *trying to calm down* Yesterday, J gets an email from this.. "mother" of his.. and it says that J blames the family for everything (what?) and he should make amends.. first the eff of all, HE has done NOTHING wrong.. They alienated him because he has a SOCIAL DISORDER! So, he should apologize for that? Second of all, we were supposed to meet and talk about these problems to put it all behind us and the person with the big problem.. the "mother"'s husband refuses to meet with J. So it is the husband with the problem.

When his Auntie Marie died, we drove up to the funeral.. not just that, I had class the day before the funeral so we drove ALL NIGHT without sleeping to get to RI for the funeral. We went in. Those cold-hearted people that the "mother" likes to call a family didn't even do that. The funeral parlor had it set up for a viewing but they didn't care enough to have a ceremony for her. Basically, they just met up and brought her to the plot.

Then, we really needed to get some sleep. The only person who even gave a crap was J's ex-wife!! She told J that he can't just drive back without sleeping somewhere and I could hear in her voice she was debating letting us sleep at her house but she couldn't do it... I have more respect for her than I ever will have for that "mother". But, yeah, J has the problem? Screw you!

Being Pulled Apart

I am between a rock and a hard place. I feel like I am being pulled two opposite ways. On one hand, I know how important it is for J to be near his boys. On the other hand, I need to be able to support my son Jareth and myself (and J). Since there are NO jobs in Rhode Island (believe me, I probably applied for all that was up there), I feel like I need to move to where the jobs are. I feel so terrible because this means going the opposite way to the way we should be moving. I am really trying to do the best for my family overall, that includes my step-sons. However, I just don't see moving to Rhode Island as a possibility at this point in time. It is a very depressing thought and I am tearing myself up over it. It almost feels like I am putting Jareth first, over everyone. In a way, I am. But, I know that my step-sons are well cared for and have their needs met, at least financially, where they are. They need their father though and unless J and I have a temporary long-distance relationship, I don't see how we are going to make this work. What's worse is that J can't just go out and work with his Asperger Syndrome. His social anxiety makes it very difficult.. not that there would be a job for him anyway. The problem is that he was denied disability even though he is disabled. It's freaking crap! =(